


what might have been

by heatgeneratingtechniques



Series: one-word prompts [2]
Category: Rhett & Link
Genre: Alternative Perspective, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Memories, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 20:13:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16899150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heatgeneratingtechniques/pseuds/heatgeneratingtechniques
Summary: They weren't meant to be apart.





	1. breathe

**Author's Note:**

> A pair of anon prompts touching on the idea of one of them living without the other.

The hardest part wasn’t when he got the news, or in the days surrounding the funeral, or even the ceremony itself. The hardest part came when he woke up a few weeks later and realized he was alone.

He knew the thought was foolish. He had his lovely wife, three happy children, and a dog that loved him. He had many friends here in LA, and even more friends and family back in North Carolina. But without Rhett, he felt lonelier than he could remember.

The feeling of emptiness hit him like a ton of bricks as he rinsed shaving cream from his face.He clutched the bathroom sink with both hands, head bowed as he took deep breaths.

There was so much to do, and he’d have to do it by himself. People looked to him for the final word on business decisions, on how to handle the company now that its founding duo was now a solo act. Link toyed with the idea of continuing filming once a few months had passed, but quickly discarded it. He was too used to bouncing jokes off Rhett, of saying something foolish and giggling at the way his friend’s eyes widened in shock. It wouldn’t be the same, performing on his own, even if so many of the crew were just behind the lights and cameras.

He got back into the habit of spending time in quiet meditation in the morning. Sometimes he wrote in his journal or read from the Bible or another book. Sometimes listened to the early morning sounds of the neighborhood waking up around him. And sometimes he just sat with his eyes closed, taking slow, measured breaths. Jade always joined him, content to rest in his lap as he sat on the back porch.

The last time he’d done this had been at Rhett’s prompting. It was all for the sake of mindfulness. Rhett had given him a book on meditation that he’d read in a few weeks. But by the time he finished it, Rhett had already moved on to pilates and they rarely discussed the topic again.

Over the next several months, Link found himself adopting several of Rhett’s habits. He caught himself reading about Rhett’s layers: paddleboarding, Crown Victorias, whittling, and anything else in which he could recall Rhett expressing interest. It provided a welcome distraction from work, from childhood memories that threatened to drown him every time he saw Rhett’s family.

There were some days when it all became too much for him. Conversations moved too fast, he couldn’t focus, and his hands shook more than usual. Stevie would catch his eye, dismiss a meeting early, and gently ask if he wanted to go home early. He always said no, he just needed a moment to catch his breath. She always gave an understanding nod and left him alone.

On these days, Link retreated to their office. It would always be _theirs_ in his mind, never _his._ He kicked off his shoes and curled up on the couch with Jade tucked in his arms.

If he tried hard enough, he could almost convince himself that Rhett was there, too.


	2. mustard-yellow sweater

Some days he missed Link more than others.

For the most part, he’d learned to keep the grief at bay. He kept himself busy with work: restructuring the company, spending time with his boys, doing sweet little things for his wife. Nights were the worst, but there were sleeping pills for that.

Some days, the weight of loss threatened to crush him. When he visited the Neals, he braced himself for the memories that seemed to be gathered in ever corner. He imagined that Link was just in another room and could saunter back in at any moment.

The worst time came when he agreed to help Christy clear out the rest of Link’s clothes. He folded up stacks of graphic tees and button-downs, some of them years old, all of them bound for the thrift store. He remembered the videos they’d filmed while he was wearing each of them.

There was one piece of clothing that he kept for himself. Christy said she didn’t mind.

The mustard-yellow sweater was too long in the arms and too short in the torso for him, but he didn’t care. He’d teased Link when he first bought it, pointing out that wearing sweaters was for people living in towns that actually got snow in the winter, not Los Angeles. Link had told him to shut up and said the sweater made him feel cozy.

“You wear sweaters too, man!” he’d protested. “What makes this any different?”

He’d smiled then, nudging Rhett in the arm, turning the conversation to the filming scheduled for later in the week. There was something Rhett wanted to say to him, something about how he looked good in his outfit, but he crushed it. They talked about work, answered emails, and the sweater was forgotten.

Rhett remembered it now. He wished he’d spoken up then. It wouldn’t have taken much to say “You look good,” but instead he’d teased and joked and changed the subject.

It was a strange thing to remember, in the Neals’ house surrounded by all of Link’s clothes. Rhett wasn’t sure why. He ended up keeping the sweater in the back of his closet, as a reminder of happier times and an unanswered question of what might have been.


End file.
